[GOALS 11-14] Goal-killing traits to avoid

by | Apr 19, 2024

Bullhorn and ringing bell icon around a conversation balloon which says, "Today, Kathie asks: Have you kicked your New Year's resolutions to the curb? Let's figure out why. And let's rescue them."

[ Note: don’t miss the “THIS JUST IN!” message at the end of this post. You’ll find a last-minute addition of an infographic to help your goals success. Instant download. ]


Whether or not you’ve worked through my 5-part series on pursuing the right objectives in the right way, you’ll appreciate this follow-up.

Instead of simply building toward “Done!” with our goals, it’s time to consider something no one else is talking about:

Not letting goal killers mess up our hard work!

If you’ve given up on a goal for 2024 and kicked it to the curb, let’s work on a reboot and get you back on track.


[GOALS 11-14] Goal-killing traits to avoid

I’ve compiled this series of social media posts into one article for you. It’s an all-in-one-place high-level review for … what not to do (!) as you pursue your objectives.


[Week 1 – Goal 11]

Goal killer: Fear

There are wise things to fear:

  • What will happen during a military battle?
  • Is that job you just accepted w-a-y above your skill level?
  • How can you cross this busy highway to get help?

In these examples, success = having this answer and resolve: “I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out and move forward.”

Unfortunately, some people let fear paralyze them. Let’s not be those people!

Here are a few of the top goal-killing fears. (If you have a sensible, achievable objective for this stage of your life, I bet you can beat the concern.)

  • Being subconsciously afraid of success
  • Fearing success’s greater responsibility
  • Being afraid of not reaching the target

If any of these sound like you, take some time to work through them. I have! And so has any other person who’s started a new project.

Conversely, there may be a time you fail in the goals process. Life comes at us fast. And the “Oops!” isn’t always our fault!


This week: In a small notebook (using as many pages as you need and a pen or pencil … no electronics, please. I’ll explain later.) 

  • Create two vertical columns on a page.
  • In the left column, write what scares you about the sensible goal you want to achieve.
  • Across from that statement, jot down at least three things you can do to
    • Alleviate your fear.
    • Stay on track to your goal.


[Week 2 – Goal 12]

Last week, I asked you to create a simple ‘fears’ table. For each item, you supplied at least three things you could do to help alleviate the fear …

Goal killer: Laziness

… so … you’re not lazy! 😎

Please remember that as obstacles get in the way of reaching a target – and they will – you’ll need time to back away from your project. If you do it well, it’s not laziness.

You and I know people who work hard and leave their ‘mark’ on society.
Let’s be two of those people, but be wise about it.

The more complicated a pursuit, the more difficult it is to achieve. That’s not always bad, but you’ll need your accountability partner to bolster you when it slows you down.

Here’s a hint that some people will laugh at and cry, “Lazy!”
But they would be wrong.

To non-overwhelm the goals process, get away for a half-hour or more when things get tough. Walking (or a nap!) works wonders in clearing your mind. Pace yourself … 16-hour days are o-u-t … and give yourself time off when needed.

The only people who will point to that and say, “Lazy!” are the ones who don’t have a life. I doubt they achieve many goals.

But you know what? I bet their doctor sees them often.


This week: In your small notebook

  • List three problem areas on your path to goals achievement. These would be rough spots you know are coming, and you want to think through solving them now.
  • Maybe also put them on (low-tech warning!) an index card to keep where you’ll see it throughout the day. Every time you read those points, your mind will work on them.

Research shows we internalize things better if we write them down in the real world. Take advantage of your brain’s natural processes!


[Week 3 – Goal 13]

The last time I lost a job because a supervisor saw me as a ‘threat,’ I decided to go out alone. (You may have had this experience, too. Sigh.)

The proverbial ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ came after I managed a successful software project for a firm. The new application took the company from (as Star Trek’s Mr. Spock would say) ‘bear skins and stone knives’ maintenance scheduling to a state-of-the-art computerized system with government-approved reporting.

So … what was the problem? My selfish boss.

Goal killer: Selfishness

Until I found it on a list of goal killers, ‘selfishness’ never occurred to me as an issue. But sure enough, a manager outside my department later told me what was going on in my situation:

“You know our reputation as a ‘revolving door’ company?
The door is in [former boss’s] office. For some reason, [former boss]
can’t stand it when someone on the team gets kudos.”

What?! That still doesn’t make sense to me. My best supervisor, e-v-e-r, told me, “My job is to hire good people and stay out of their way. They make us all look good when they succeed.”

Sadly, some individuals don’t want to share success with anyone. Let’s remember: most goals we accomplish aren’t just about us.


This week: Do you know anyone who’s forgotten to acknowledge those who helped them reach a goal? Please suggest they take care of that now and reach out to that person (or people). It might help them build their muscle of UNselfishness.

If they don’t follow your suggestion 😞, at least you’ve done your part to help their team members.

We all need to think back to projects at home, work, and even where we spend our leisure time. Have we been guilty of this goal killer? (Y.i.k.e.s) If so, let’s fess up and make someone’s day (including ours).


[Week 4 – Goal 14]

For Type A to the Nth Degree people like me, charging ahead into the fray is what we do:

“Full speed ahead!”
“Outta my way!”
“Here, let me do it!”

Until … we discover it doesn’t work that way.

Goal killer: Lack of preparation

We all know those people. Some of us were those people. But we’ve learned no objective is reached without preparing to get there.

I’ve returned to my first loves of teaching and writing. Years of preparation and hard work have made it happen. More about that in a moment.

‘Preparation’ rarely travels in a straight line. That’s why many don’t have the patience for it. And it’s also why you can excel if you prepare to complete your plan.

Whether it’s a small project or one that takes years, the process is the same.

My Goals Accountability Blueprint course came with the price of lengthy preparation:

  • Years of career changes and skills enhancement
  • Specialized training about reaching objectives, not just setting them
  • Shaping those skills into a unique solution for my students

I hope you find that encouraging, even if your goal is minor. Hang in there and stick with it!


This week: Is what you’re doing with your life what you want to do with your life? If the answer is “No,” consider three steps you can take – starting n.o.w. – to get there. 

Jot down the steps in your notebook and on two index cards to leave where you’ll read them often (much as you did in Week 2). Dedicate yourself to the preparation.

A word of encouragement as you reach for new objectives

You might be working on a minor target, which is an excellent place to start. But maybe – like me a few years ago – you’ll use transferrable skills to create something new.

Please don’t let your age bog you down. I started writing when I was nine years old. My book was published (and my goals course created) after I turned 60.

During those intervening years, there was a b.u.n.c.h. of preparation for what I’m doing now.

You’ll be unstoppable if you incorporate the Q4 training (I mentioned at the start of this article) with what you’ve learned here.


[Week 5 – Wrap up]

It’s been my honor to guide you in avoiding a few goal-killing traits. If there’s anything we can do to add a little non-overwhelm to our processes, go for it. Right?

Let’s take a few minutes to recap.


Goal-killing traits to avoid – Wrap up

We began with the concept of fear keeping us from reaching our mark. One of those fears could be: “If I succeed, then what?!” What comes next? Improving on the solution? Maybe. But don’t get stuck there. If you have a multi-part answer, work each step to build success.

You tackled several goals here. When? Every time you took on one of the “This week” exercises. If you completed each, you pursued and reached four objectives. See? It’s do-able!

At first, each was probably outside your comfort zone. That’s how progress works. Remember these?

  • Writing down what scared you about your objective and three ways to reach calm
  • Planning solutions for rough spots you’d encounter during achievement
  • Helping someone learn to give credit where it’s due for a group effort
  • Deciding where you want to be in your life and working to get there

I bet you’ve at least started working on all four. Keep going!


One final assignment: 😎  

In your small notebook

  • Write down a negative trait you want to change to its positive.
  • Below that, write your solution for changing it.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦:

“When something frustrates me, I get angry and lash out.”

𝘉𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦:

“I’ll work on ways to stay calm and work it out.”

Practice the good trait for a month. 

Don’t give up if you backslide. Keep at it! Repeat this practice with a new attribute in Month 2, Month 3, etc.

By the end of 2024, you’ll have your own “Lessons Learned” workbook and room on each page to take notes as you progress … or not. Don’t forget to record the “Oops!” moments, too. We often learn the most from the negative experiences.

I hope 2024 has been good for you so far. I hope to see some of you in my Goals Accountability Blueprint course and the weekly 15-minute accountability check-in for graduates. Keeping in touch is fun, and we always learn from each other.

Join us!

THIS JUST IN! 😎 A few days before this post launched, my gift-from-heaven (!) webmaster made sure my Goals TEST infographic was available for you. It’s a great companion piece for this article. It keeps me on track for banishing goal killers.

(Not to be geeky ‘r nuthin’, but this puppy is my computer desktop’s wallpaper right now.)

Click for your instant download.

I hope you’ve found this look at goal-killing traits helpful. We all need to work hard to kick these to the curb instead of giving up on our goals!

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Feel free to contact me if you have questions about this article.

Thanks for spending part of your day with me.

I know you’re busy, and I appreciate your time.

If you have a question about this article or need a little (free) help getting unstuck on a project, email me. We can schedule a quick, 15-minute chat if you’d like.

Hope to hear from you soon,


Kathie York is the Queen of Non-Overwhelm and your Goals Accountability instructor. She helps you reach peace and calm in life, including the ultimate: reaching goals, not just setting them! Check out Kathie’s practical Goals Accountability Blueprint training. Click here for more info!

See all [GOALS] articles     Kathie’s book!

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Kathie York, CSQE
Queen of Non-Overwhelm
Goals Accountability Instructor

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